The only thing that has more twists and turns, bumpy patches and smooth stretches than a road that leads to Ladakh is the road that leads to CA.
Hello Fellow Attempters,
Before we begin with who we are or what this page is about, we would like you to run through the following categories to find out if you are eligible to be a part of this page .
If u fall in any of these categories below then this page is just meant for u ,
- Attempting CA exams but cannot impress THE “MY BAAP” (the institute)
- Are already a CA , and curse the day when you were finally able to impress THE MY BAAP
- Forced to pursue this career but hate it from the bottom of ur heart ( but couldn’t do anything abt it)
- Chose CA cos u were in commerce and had no other option (Yeah ..now u r down the hellhole)
- Chose CA cos u were made to believe its the cheapest course ( Without including classes fees ofcourse)( But it really is the cheapest course in terms of the stipend u get paid)
- Chose CA just for money ..and ...no , Thats it !! (Nothing more , nothing less)
- Are about to venture on this journey to hell without knowing what lies ahead (there are just manholes on the road my frnd)
- Chose CA because your father is one and/or has a firm (& u have the burden to continue)
- Chose CA cos ur frnds were doing it (those who passed but you haven’t)
- Became CA to fulfil your dream of getting a secured, well paying job. ( Its always going to remain a dream people!!)
But If you are already a CA , like being one and are happily working , Then you are either too proud to accept the fact that u are actually miserable or you just don’t understand the meaning of the words- “ CONTENTION, JOY , BLISS !!”
And if u r genuinely a beaming, glowing, satisfied CA, then this page is not made for you – Please visit www.icai.org
Disclaimer of Opinion from the Admins:
This is light hearted entertainment page intended for recreational purposes only.
Any advice given should be taken with a MAJOR grain of salt. We are not responsible for anything that may happen from using this problem solving system. We are not professionals, we have no training, and we are not even particularly good at handling our own screw ups. So this is really just a joke. Don't believe everything that you read.!!
The material on this page may be offensive and frightening to small children, the faint of heart, uptight individuals, the socially retarded.. (Basically Qualified and Happy CAs)!!
Any views, opinions and statements expressed by the followers/participants are theirs only and are not subscribed to by the admins! Please do not sue us.!!!
All rights reserved.
Before we begin with the gratifying social work of saving the world from the atrocities of CA , here’s describing the life altering event of the admins which lead to this legendary FB page – The Chartered Attempters Club.
It was -
The Day Before The Result-
The second most scariest day of a CA student’s life ( if you are wondering which is the scariest day of ur life..scroll down to find out)..
The day begins with us constantly trying to put off the dreadful string of thoughts hovering over the cranial bones of our brains – Thoughts of our impending results! We try to distract ourselves by watching various movies – The Dark Knight , Die hard, The Fast and the Furious (Just the boys!!) , We know the girls would prefer Titanic, The Notebook, Dirty Dancing, Pretty woman. Some might just settle for mushy, romantic conversations with their BF/GF..This is the only time of the year apart from Valentines day when the romance factor in the relationship is on the verge of spilling over. For most others who are single (Courtesy : CA!!) – there are horror books and murder mysteries – The Shining, The Exorcist, American Psycho) But there are always our interfering and irritating distant relatives (Who forget to call us on our birthdays but remember the day of our results ) who would call and ask us the stupidest questions ever like –
Are you scared?? (u would know if u write the exam- give it a try and then dare to call)
Will you pass? ( Am not the institute)
How were ur papers?? (That’s History...and soon we too will become one!!)
What do u think?? (That u r either too free in life or derive sadistic pleasure from watching others in pain..So bugger off)
We even try to strike a deal with God (Does the movie 3 Idiots ring a bell?)!We prepare ourselves for the worst but hope for the best, and plan mentally for all the “What Ifs”...
Finally the night comes and we lie awake in our bed wondering about TOMORROW!!
The Day OF The Result-The scariest day of our life
After having a sleepless night , the morning begins with excitement and fear, our hearts beating too fast, pressure rising too high , our stomachs churning and our mind apprehensive of what’s hidden behind that one click of mouse. The constant phone calls, the frustrating slow internet, the fear of being left behind or the satisfaction of moving ahead. Among all these moments , we realise that our future depends on the result. And it can all go down the spiral , too. Knowing that u didn’t make it. Realising the failure. Experiencing the fall.
RESULT :
Heartbeat – Boom Boom Boom Boom
Heartbreak ..chann se tute jo koi sapna..jag soona soona lageee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For some people there were tears of joy but we had turned into Tulsi from Ekta kapoors kyuki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi !! And our moms had turned into Meenakumari from Pakeezah!! Our lives had fallen apart, dreams shattered, faith shaken and hopes killed. We had lost everything in this battle – Confidence, respect, dignity, individuality, morale and gained nothing but a piece of paper from MY BAAP that screamed loudly to the world that we were pathetic losers ..and top it all of we had been publically humiliated . Our failure had become international news and talked about more than Mr Modis swearing in ceremony. It was a disaster (man made) which didn’t kill people but souls. It should be declared as the “Day of Demotivation “, “Black Day” , “Doomsday” , “End of the world”..probably just ours..
AFTER THE RESULT :
So after failing ,we decided to meet with friends and CELEBRATE our FAILURE!!
And that is when we came up with this idea..
We put 5 years in this course and we didn’t get anything out of it..but we had a chance to help our fellow attempters to get the most from this !
Now some might say that we are just some angry CA students who can’t clear the exams....we ain’t denying!!
We are just trying to get back something that we lost in the process !
And that’s how we choose to HEAL!!
So we decided to created this page..
When we started it,we were asked what Category did our page belong to?..We had the following categories to choose from:
1. Books/Magazine- NO!! ( CA students hav enough modules and classes notes to read )
2. Business - NO!! (This ain’t business bro..It’s SOCIAL WORK)
3. Sports - NO!! (Though the MY BAAP does plays games with us)
4. Television- NO!! (ya we do become actors from daily soap operas and our lives entertainment for the people around us)
5. Music - NO!! (Saari umra hum ,marr marr ke jee liye, ek pal toh ab hume jeene do )
6. Peope - YES!!!!! Hell Yeah!!...
“FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE , OF THE PEOPLE “
Then we moved onto the Sub-Categories..There is no sub-category for CAs!
So we chose “Fictional Character”...CA is not even close to being Real!
BTW there is even a category for Pets!!
Even FB agrees- CA is not a category!!
We were asked about our website...
we put www.caresults.nic.in (we visit this website more frequently than Google)
And the last we were asked about the Official page..we put www.icai.org...(LOL)
BTW Google CA and you will get a link to WikiHow- “How to become a CA (8 Steps with pictures)”-can u believe it..ROFL
(We wish we could become one in just 8 goddamn steps)
So here we are with our Page-The Chartered Attempters Club!!
So ..that’s our story..But we are sure a lot of you will be able to strike a chord with it.
So here we are , to help you.
Tell us everything that you feel, that u wanna do , that u don’t wanna do,
Talk to us about your problems and we will help you see the SILVER LINING in all of this.
You can also share your stories and experiences on this page , you will find out that there are so many people out there who are with you on this journey and share the same feeling with you.
Now,we might not be trained Psychologists...but we are girls!!
And one thing that all the Girls are genuinely good at is LISTENING !!
(We know the boys will laugh at this joke , but really.. girls listen less and talk more coz they already know what the guys are gonna say!)
And one thing that twice-failed CA students, who have gone through everything from public humiliation to seeing their life fall apart , are genuinely good at is saving the world of CA attempters from ruining their lives!
So we got Failure Parties and Therapy Sessions(Art Therapy, Dance Therapy , Talk Therapy , and the best of it all Abuse and Burn Therapy) specially lined up for you...
So all the CA attempters out there...
If u truly wanna LIVE your Life..
If u wanna explore a world outside the World of CA ..
If u don’t wanna be tagged as a CA attempter ..
If u wanna chase your dreams ..
If u wanna find your identity ..
